As the story has it, one day I headed to the opposite side of the globe – the Flipside. I arrived in Korea on February 16th, 2005 and thought I’d do a year, then leave. I went from being some random foreign girl to taking on labels I never imagined – university professor, film extra, professional boxer, reality TV star, CEO of my own girls-only fitness company (Flipside Fitness), CEO of my own boxing club (Hulk's Club, formerly known as Hulk's Boxing), and now I'm launching my 3rd business -- Empowered Clubhouse.

After 11.5yrs in Korea, I then picked up one day and returned to Toronto, Canada. But then I left again. This time it was for the Philippines. That's where I am now, living in the land of the happy people. The struggles are real and the struggles are many but I'm living life on my terms, I'm calling the shots, and I'm doing what I love. Life is an amazing adventure and this is my story of yesterday.

Saturday, February 17, 2018

The Answer is No... Saturday, February 17

One of my pet peeves is when people ask me if I miss home.

Where do you think it is I exactly live?!

I live at home, my home.

Home is where the heart is and my heart is here.

Do I ever think I'll move back to Canada?  No.  My dad said something the other day along the lines of me "jeopardising my future and chances of settling down in Canada", to which I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

My definition of home is different than his, as is my definition of family.

Today my father went in for surgery, to remove his cancer.  The outcome wasn't as planned, there were bad news, and now suddenly family is messaging me.  They're all concerned for my father, all concerned about me not being there, but where were they when I had exactly $1.39 in my bank account and couldn't pay for my next meal?!  Better question, where were they when I returned to Canada after 11.5yrs of living in Korea?!  No one came to visit me, not even anyone from my immediate family.  It was always me visiting them.  Even when I made Korea's largest boxing club, no one ever visited.  They stuck to just viewing whatever pictures I posted on Facebook.  Then, when I returned to Canada from life in Korea, I saw my family probably about a handful of times within the 2.5 years that I was actually there.  I lived in Toronto, the metropolitan city of my province, probably the most easily accessible city and yet it was again always me traveling out of my way to see them.

Families change.  The young get married and start their own families while the older get more settled in their routines and ways.  It's to be expected but because I never followed this path, it's almost as if the pressure to stay connected and go out of my way has always been on me.  

A cousin of mine once joked and said "while the rest of us are growing older, growing up and settling down, you're doing the polar opposite."  

I didn't know if that was a compliment or insult.  I guess it was a backhanded compliment.

I have a home and I have a family.  My home is where my heart is, it's here in the Philippines, and my family consists of a four-legged boy and a Filipino family who adopted me as one of theirs over a year ago now.  

I'm sorry that I can't be there for my father today but I question if he or any of my family in Canada are sorry that they're not here for me.  

I already know the answer.  It was a rhetorical question.

1 comment:

Why am I here??? said...

Oh geez, that's tough. I'm sorry to hear about your father. You're both brave and strong to be pushing forward against the dominant discourse that positions you as the outsider. I totally moved to your city, btw. Living in downtown TO as I type this. Let me know if you ever come here.